Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 03-27-2007, 08:46 PM   #1
Admiral

 
seapuppy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Everett Wa
Posts: 4,681
Default Ponderisms...

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.



* Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.



* The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.



* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.



* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.



* Life is sexually transmitted.



* Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.



* Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.



* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.



* Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?



* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.



* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.



* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.



* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?



* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"



* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."



* Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?



* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?



* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?



* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?



* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?



* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?



* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?



*
__________________
Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
------------------------
SSN683 Association member
Par Excellence
------------------------------
2008 Bayliner 340 - "Wild Whim"
--------------------------------------
I live in my own little world....but it's okay-they know me here!!!

Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.
Tap-Rack-Bang

Anyone that sez "Size doesn't matter" has never owned a boat!
seapuppy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3

All times are GMT. The time now is 11:55 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.