The Pirate and the Ship's Wheel
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attached to his manhood.
He sidles up to the bar and orders a drink.
The bar tender brings him the drink and says " I couldn't help but notice the ship's wheel attached to your manhood."
The pirate wearily peered back at the bartender with his one eye and responds "Yaar, it's drivin' me nuts!"